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| Our sad little lives, your comic relief. |
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updated....10/15/04 Um. I think I'm empty now.
Claris: so now I have to figure out NEW electives. Tomorrow, I must arrive early, or as my boss calls it: "on time." Sigh. I am an American. As such, I am almost totally ignorant about everything that happens everywhere except America. So I need some of you European sorts to give me information about the world outside our borders. I don't think they've done anything that specifically violated any of the rules there. Unless there's a rule against "being an arsehole". When you can take a position regarding the character Spike, such that the Spike lovers and Spike haters agree you're more obnoxious than anything in recent memory? You're not a bezoar, my friends. You're like some kind of anti-Jedi. I have written a complaint email. I think though, that I shoulda had Anya write it, cause it was way too polite. I have nothing much to say today except that how come sons of OUR ex-leaders are never caught instigating a coup d'etat? Because that's some prime scandal, I'm telling you. To the guy in the gym with spandex shorts whose side panels were mesh....
Sam : WHY DIDN'T HE SAY, THE FUCKER?! Not every comic in the world has Wolverine in it. It just seems like it. Okay, that's the optimist worst case scenario. Pessimist worst case sceanrio has you shootin' crack on Hollywood and Vine wearing two different high heels singing 'i'm a little teapot' for cash. I would have asked him directly what the heck it was, but I didn't want to make eye contact lest I be assimilated into the collective. i wanted to wrap up the mall and bring it home with me, but Allyson assured me it would just get peed on in l.a. It now and then occurs to me that some of my friends are lacking in restraint.
Amaranth: we are so a product of the tachnology age I would take your thanks, but it was purely for selfish reasons, as they were driving me up the walls. It was either feed them or beat them, and frankly, I needed to conserve my energy. So I will MUM THE WORD. There. The word is now completely mum. Coworker attorney's newborn baby girl pictures arrived via email. She's so tiny! He says so far all she does is sleep, eat, cry, and poop. So, pretty much it's just like owning my dog, only his daughter probably doesn't try to eat the neighbor kids when she encounters them. Don't spread that last bit around, they'll revoke my nerd membership card. Welcome to the club. Your special hat will be ready in about a week. Well, I, for one, have been incited to neither anxiety, nor apathy, but rather, mockery. And hostility. And typing. Oh yes, typing! Because the typewriter is mightier than the sword! Especially when you need a blunt instrument to throw at your TV when Tom Ridge's ugly mug comes on. I tell ya - I just ain't gettin' my fair share out of life. Where is my Moorish palace? Where are my dancing girls? Why do I have to feed myself my own damn grapes!? Very frustrating. I damn well better win the lottery after this. Okay, 'nuff of that. *smooch* WHERE ARE YOU REGISTERED!?!? Don't tell me and I will send you something you DON'T want, like pictures of your in-laws in the nude. ;-) No one likes a smug concierge. Except perhaps the French, I dunno. Lawgeekers on my friends list... can I sue someone for being annoying and stupid? Cause I want to. Have you microchipped Zoey yet? I think Coco needs a chip. That way if she ever gets lost someone can you know, take her into a grocery store and run her over the scanner or something. I think the fact that this guy thinks he's going to impress Bronzers or Betaers by using math proves he has no idea what kind of people he's dealing with. erm... ok, so there I am thinking of a way to mock all this math geeky shit, and then I realise that while I'm typing, I'm watching a documentary on the geological make up of Saturns moons. When Jimmy Carter is slapping you around, dude, you fucked up. i learned yesterday that i am also in charge of canada. it was told to me in an off-handed way, "oh, by the way, you also have responsibility to canada. don't freak out. it'll be fine." no one has bothered to tell me what, exactly, i am supposed to do with canada. and today i had to do some math for mexico, even though i am not technically in charge of worldwide, except that sometimes i am.
Ozlady : Meh. I have a headache. And I have yet to come up with a viable plan for this evening It's not that I'm cheap, it's just that...hey! my ruler's missing! I wish this case had gone ahead and been prosecuted so we could get a ruling once and for all on the harmful nature of vibrators to the good women of Texas. Damnit, I'm going to have to go out and get caught selling vibrators so I can be a test case. Discovery! so no sanity points awarded to crazy ass, and may god have mercy on her soul I saw no cows between Illinois and Missouri. I suspect they all left Illinois because the daylight savings time confused them. It has been suggested to me that if I post my new address, people will send me things. Since I am chock full of avarice, here goes...
OzLady:It's not like they swipe a security wand and red lights start flashing and a computerized voice starts shouting, "Warning! Virgin! Virgin! Step away from the hymen!" *snicker*
Anya: Still there? It was like finding $50 of Canadian money in my panties, I swear to Goddess.
Claris: But yes. I figure either spanish or Japanese. Anya's cheering for Italian, 'cause acc. to her it'll be helpful to her when we go to Europe if I speak italian. Because, you know, my academic choices are all about HER apparently I cannot sue Adam for indecent exposure, because we are married. Dear Spammers: If that miracle enlarging, enhancing, go all night drug is so wonderful, why are you sitting at a computer sending me mail? Shouldn't you be otherwise occupied with those hot underage farm girls and desperate wives cheating on their husbands? I'm supposed to be having my roaring 20's right now! Drugs! drinking! Wild, irresponsible sex! But no! Instead, I've just gotten clearance for overtime! That's NOT A FAIR TRADE!
Claris : here. This is worlds colliding for you : So, as I say, 45 minutes to travel two streets. And the first time I've ever physically beaten a navigation aid because of its utter, utter uselessness. I was going to go with William Shatner is brilliant. But I'm still not sure I can bring myself to say that. This is particularly good because I'm wicked-broke right now, and didn't really want to have to choose between debt and my health (is that what it feels like to be American?). I'm sitting here, finding Simon Camden hot. The carpet in my cubical looks like a gay disco. So the dress? She is being returned. Seriously, if the US was going to keep Cat Stevens out of the country for some reason, it should have been because he let Mandy Moore cover "Moonshadow." I just KNOW you want to turn your thoughts on the debate into a tmb.net article... Cheney's just...he's gonna reveal himself to be Sauron and eat babies on stage!! I know it! Note to my liver: Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I promise, it will never happen again. Please don't leave me.
TMorel : nice enough kid, it's just he has a distructive streak, and I just would like to see him blow up the ex's new appartment.... you've gotta encourage a childs interests.... And while my work doesn't really require judgement, it probably should. Ah, but you forget that he is a baby killing Devil-worshipper. this is what friends are for, to spread the ew. Sarah wait this isn't a internet dating service? Are you telling me that I've been using all my good lines on you people while elsewhere there are thousands of sexy people who haven't seen the glory, the wonder, the sexy that is me? |
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