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Our sad little lives, your comic relief. |
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updated....02/15/05 First rule of Sex Club, you don't talk about Sex Club. surely you can't all be American, Undamaged or The biscuit thief? Hey, my inbox was just as shocked as yours.... Off to find more fun ways to destroy what's left of my sanity!! It's OK, I'm giving up religion for lent. If I had a little more energy, and if we lived in times where it was culturally acceptable to storm upon a person's house carrying torches a la Gaston in Beauty and the Beast, I would so totally be on my local meteorologist's doorstep right now. You know you're suffering political overload when you're driving down a residential street, see a yard sign and automatically think to yourself "wow, I've never heard of that candidate, I wonder what party they belong to?" and then you realize that in fact, it's a realty company. God DAMN! People here are so much smarter than me. Than I. Than me. Well, I'm pretty much making my point here. I really hate my job some weeks. Usually, 52 weeks. But still. RTBS Not sure where I saw it, I closed the browers down fast in case anybody at work saw me with a WWE/Buffy crossover fic page open. I tabbed over to the farmyard sex page to save my blushes. *bang head on desk* Must * Regain * Brain* Seriously, dude. I'm not really as smart as I seem. I just type fast and carry a fast browser. Sam: On the other hand, Bush is still going to win. These powers are my blessing, but also my curse. friends don't let friends watch top model until at least 4 shots of tequila have been consumed! So after plugging my project into MS Project this morning, it is my considered professional opinion that I am totally screwed. Last night we debated whether to sign our response to the fuckwits "Now fuck off and die" or "Oh, and fuck you and the horse you rode in on." We went with Sincerely. ;) I was so stunned, I am sure I sounded like a short-bus special. Once you actually go to therapy, you stop being "crazy" & become "pharmaceutically eccentric", which is like regular eccentric, except you're not rich & there's legally prescribed medications involved. you are my special rage hero ha! stupid russians. it's all in the details if you're going to be an evil genius, yo. Were there any sentences in that? It's hurting me. blah blah your stuff blah blah...the important thing is me! Can we make something else our future? Like puppies? Cuz the children, they just aren't cutting it these days: I am proud to say that I broke every single one of those rules, and am a dirty messy whore to boot. I guess it's shameful when you find out your religion broke copyright. Who knows. Maybe things will go great this weekend haha I couldn't even keep a straight face in an entirely textual medium on that one. And can I just say, could baseball BE any more boring? Seriously, could they possibly build any more dicking around into the game? For Christ's fucking sake, waiting for something to happen is worse than trying to get something done on the Web using dialup on a laptop. Xanderella: And how is it decided which teams are in the American League and which in the National League? I don't get the reference, but laughed just the same. I'm fairly certain baseball has eaten my brain. At one stage in my life I bought a very large alarm clock and put it across the room from my bed so I wouldn't destroy it while whacking it off. The good news is, Ashcroft is gone. The bad news is, they're replacing him with the Marquis de Sade. Heh. I believe that's the kind of personally we'd call a "hosebeast." Hey! I'm not *dis*organized, I'm *differently*organized. Which isn't worse, except for the part where I'm always losing things. Everybody get out and vote! I myself have voted for Kerry 17 times in 6 swing states already. If I am in meetings or at some interminable dinner in which I want to stab myself in the eyes with my salad fork, I will call you back afterward - possibly from the emergency room. I swear, if I had a big sword, I'd probably be boarding Appeals even as we speak. (Readers may be reassured to know that I am, by unanimous vote, not allowed a big sword). my computer had a hairball. They're making a video game of The Passion of the Christ.... That said, I have faith in my heart that one day I will get to play a Jesus First Person Shooter. I miss ONE day of work, (due to a hangover), and as punishment - they've promoted me I really would like to avoid getting any more cases to summarize that contain the phrase "had become contaminated with blood and bone particles." This is the second. Geez, people need to stop falling into heavy machine presses. Claris isn't at her computer?!!! that means she could be anywhere!!! She could be right outside my door waiting for the opportune moment to strike!!! *girlish scream of terror*!!! I hurt my brain back there. Excuse me. My eyes rolled so much they popped out of my head and I must go retrieve them. Oh, make no mistake children, the fact that this math is ÒimaginaryÓ doesnÕt make it any less dangerous. Oh, no. Imaginary numbers are no less malevolent than regular numbers. Take my advice: just say no to imaginary numbers. Yeah. the whole Saint-culling thing...when I've said in the past that the Papacy needs to update itself to adapt with today's society, I didn't think they'd decide to pickup the practice of pink slips for those about to retire so they could bring in entry level college graduates on a lower salary. I mean, I like the classes I teach, so I like talking about how they're constructed, and what the big picture is. But it's still kinda boring. Except this semester, when we said we'd give extra credit to anyone who smoked pot on the mall or took over the administration building or engaged in other acts of civil disobedience. Oh well, so much for abusing company systems in flagrant violation of rules. I'm a giant shmoopy nauseating blob. And now you all know it. panic knows no governmental distinctions. and also...nothing is more tacky than in Orlando where they have the "Holy Land Experience." I shit you not, Claris, there is a holy family petting zoo. kay, I did not mean to incite a bi-coastal Canadian drug-induced civil war. And really, if I leave an incriminating word out, is there any doubt (knowing me) what word it is? Kill. Stab. Murder. Maim. Strangulate. Defenestrate. Take your pick, it's one of those. Haven't you heard I'm an untrustworthy lying bitch? So, really it doesn't matter what you say to me, 'cause no one will believe me if I tell anyone you said it anyway! Rather gives a nice freedom to my remaining friends' conversation boundaries if you think about it. USE GLOVES WHEN TOUCHING A PARASITE THAT JUST BUSTED OUT OF A COW. USE GLOVES!!! No, no, I'm thinking that sounds like pretty sound advice... I now realise I am going to have to compile a list of dates and times of all their nuisances. Which is a nuisance. And petty. But, y'know, they shouldn't have started something with someone as childish and grudge-bearing as me. Oh, well, that I understand. Anything related to Catholic guilt gets you a free pass. I mean, the movie was all right, but if I want to have overdramatic self-absorbed whining about things I don't care about, I can just go read certain people's livejournals. |
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