Adri -- Oh absolutely. Seska has major dram shop liability exposure. Plus, if any of the ants, well, take advantage of the other, more inebriated ants ....
- Narrator

*Adri re-enters Camp in a suit with high heels and a brief case* *ahem*

Narrator: Upon closer examination of the case, my client, Seska, bears no liability for any potential after effects the ants may suffer from any alleged consumption of alcohol or poison in her abode. The ants were uninvited intruders illegally entering her home to steal from her. My client did not force the ants to consume anything nor did my client serve any consumables to the ants. Any consumption by the ants was done by the ants own free will. My client is therefore not responsible if they suffered ill effects from items stolen and consumed from my client's home.
- Adri

Adri -- Tut, tut. That argument does not work -- homeowners/renters cannot set up electric-shock devises or shotguns to automatically shoot intruders. Neither can Seska indiscriminately get a whole mess of ants drunk on vodka. At a minimum, she's going to need to start checking IDs. - Narrator

Adri, NarrAtor, Seskiea: Now probably isn't a great time to mention the Tony Martin case in the UK, whereupon a man was jailed for shooting dead a youth that broke into his farmhouse then?
- Rachie

Narrator: Your allegation that my client "indiscriminately [got] a whole mess of ants drunk on vodka" is incorrect. The vodka was purchased by my client with the intent that my client be the consumer of said vodka. Of course, my client's consumption would have been in a responsible, law abiding manner. If any of my client's vodka was consumed by the ants, then the ants stole said vodka and consumed it without the consent of my client. Further, it is entirely possible, given the pattern of behavior of these ants, that they stole and consumed alcohol from other places and that their drunken state was not the result of their illicit consumption of my client's alcohol but in fact some one else's alcohol. My client categorically denies setting up any device to automatically shoot ants with alcohol.

Rachie: Shhhh! *bap*
- Adri

Rachie Oh for goodness sake. These are ants.

Adri How much are you charging an hour, again??

Note to self. If you're going to take ibuprofen for the swelling and antihistimines for the allergy, you probably don't want to add vodka to the mix. Got that, self?
- Seska

Adri - -So, you are claiming that a bunch of ants somehow lifted up a whole bottle of vodka, tipped it over, unscrewed the top, and then poured it out? Pshaw!!
- Narrator

Narrator: My client has no knowledge of how the ants managed to consume the vodka. This is consistent with my client's statement that the ants illegally entered her home and that if the ants did consume my client's vodka then the ants stole said vodka. My client did not serve the subject vodka to the ants nor did she shoot the ants with an automatic device nor did she in any way force the ants to consume vodka.

ETA: Seska: The matter of my fees and expenses should be discussed in private so there will not be any witnesses to afford you more confidentiality. - Adri

Adri This is my house. Sometimes vodka is left around in... all sorts of places.
La la la not my fault
- Seska

bapbapbapbapbapbapbapbaps Seska *ahem* Seska, no offering more info than absolutely necessary and NEVER without checking with your law geek first!

Nothing to see here folks, move right along.
- Adri

AHA Adri - Your client undercuts your fibbing strategy!!
- Narrator

Narrator, Adri -
You almost make law sound fun - don't you wish all your cases were like this?

This isn't law! This is the antithesis of law!
Sorry.
- PDR

Well, this morning the majority of the ants appear to be dead. Dead dead dead dead dead. Woo. Ha, lawgeeks - you're too late. :-P

I have a date today. He will not be told about the Case of Seska vs. The Ants.
- Seska

I have read the latest quote list at nodignity.com and am so outraged I may begin boycotting the site!! (Also, I am spending too much time there, but that's another story.) Sure Seska's comment about feeding vodka to her ants was included, but where are the witty follow-up comments from me, Adri, et al? Nowhere to be seen! I was funny dammit!

Seska -- Claris pet.
- Narrator